Fried Hostess pies will always, always, always remind me of grade school field trips or sick days. My mom would slip one in my lunch sack as a treat when we went to the museum, or Pioneer Village or the zoo and sometimes I got a soda too. My dessert treat was almost always something Hostess – a fried pie or one of those bright pink coconut marshmallow snowball things and I took great care not to sit on it or smoosh it before lunch. Quite the victory in a bus full of rowdy fourth graders (I had sharp little elbows and the tenacity of a linebacker.) The only other time besides those field trips when the joys of Hostess entered our lives was when we were sick. All the regular rules of the household changed – we were a surly, nasty group when under the weather.
When I’m sick, and it’s always been this way, all bets are off. I’m cranky, sluggish and generally hate everyone. My eating habits go toward old tried and true favorites; a regular rotation that has stuck with me over the years … like chicken noodle soup (so obvious.) Ice cold glasses of Squirt (so refreshing.) Grilled cheese on rye (so comforting.) Canned peaches (for reasons I cannot explain.) I had an ex who used to make me spaghetti and meatballs when I was laid flat. It was one of his few redeeming traits. But when I was a kid, it was all about hot chocolate and fried pies.
I’m pretty sure I picked it up from my dad, the all-time crabbiest of crabby sick dudes. He was the worst but luckily it didn’t happen often and passed quickly. For whatever reason, when he was ill my mom stocked up on Hostess lemon fried pies and Mogan David wine which he threw back like a corner wino. I am not kidding. Mogan frickin’ David. Kosher wine and bad wine at that. What a combo – bad wine and lemon pies! It sends me into fits of giggles to this day just to think about it. But it made him feel better and isn’t that what these kinds of things are supposed to do?
I’m certain that my little combination – hot chocolate with extra marshmallows and a peach or wild berry fried pie – was my version of sick-dad-food. I have fond memories of staying home from school, bundled up on the couch watching The Mickey Mouse Club with my warm mug and a stack of empty wrappers. I’m surprised I ever made it back to school.
I recently picked up a Hostess fried pie – apple flavor – at a convenience store. They didn’t have peach or wild berry but they did have chocolate (which sounded gross), lemon (not a fan of yellow goop) and cherry (see lemon comment). Of the four, apple seemed to be the safest bet. Surprise of all surprises, it wasn’t that good. The pastry was rather pasty and left a weird coating on the roof of my mouth, a sure sign of shortening and cheap ingredients. The filling was just sweet – no real apple flavor but strange apple-like bits – and a goopy gloopiness that was a bit disconcerting. It was disappointing – were these better when I was a kid or just as bad and I didn’t know any better? Maybe all that St. Joseph’s baby aspirin and kiddie cough medicine made them taste better?
I’ve made hand pies – little fried pie turnovers – for a while and had some good ones recently in New Orleans. But I was never really pleased with the dough. I added it to that long running list in my head of things I need to fix if only I had the time. Then at the grocery checkout the other day, right there on the cover of Fine Cooking … peach hand pies. I threw it on the belt without really looking. With a case of peaches sitting in my fridge, I knew I had to do something quick. Working on my hand pies would be perfect as I already had a great filling.
Their dough was simple and typical – flour, salt, sugar, butter – but the liquid was milk and a smidge of lemon juice. It sounded promising, so I tried it. Tender, a little flaky but sturdy enough to hold together during shaping … I liked it. Their filling was fairly similar to one I had been using – diced peaches sauteed with sugar and flavorings until tender and thickened with cornstarch. I like to use brown sugar for a little extra flavor and add some finely diced candied ginger to zip it up. Ginger and peaches go so very well together and it gives the filling a really nice zing that cuts through the sweetness. It’s really quite nice.
These pies come together really easily and with a simple pan fry they’re done – no deep fry submerging equals no messy oil to deal with later. I bet you could bake these, rather than fry, but that’s no fun. A hand pie is fried. A turnover is baked. Don’t make turnovers. It would be a crime and a whole different thing, karmically speaking of course.
You can certainly eat these as is but to really gild the lilly – and I absolutely think you should – you have two options: a cinnamon sugar toss or a light glaze. Not surprisingly, I like both but for different reasons. With the cinnamon sugar, you can eat the pies warm. This is very very nice. With the glaze, the pies need to cool and then the glaze needs to set so eating them warm isn’t really an option. But the glaze adds a lovely sweet crust and is most delicious, especially if you use a nice bourbon for half the liquid. Now that is very very nice. OK, maybe I lean just a smidge to the glaze but this is why I usually do both.
Maybe I’ll figure out how to make those pink snowballs too. I know I could make them really delicious. Or raspberry Zingers. Remember those? Or Ding Dongs! Those shouldn’t be too hard and there’s a whole slew of things in that general family – Ding Dons, Ho Ho’s, Suzy Q’s, Hostess Cupcakes, etc. etc. Wow. I could go on and on an on with this one.
STRESS BAKING THERAPY FACTOR: BIG STUPID SILLY GRIN GOOD. Seriously, these will make you happy whether you’re sick or not. Crispy, flaky, sweet, juicy, zippy – all fantastic things. Peaches are amazing right now and the more fabulous things you can do with them the better. From a stress baking factor, these are extemely rewarding particularly if you need a good distraction. This recipe is not difficult but has a lot of little parts. It is also a great recipe for sharing. People will look at you in stupid disbelief when you tell them you made these. Trust me, I know this. They probably won’t believe you anyway and really, who cares. Pick up the box holding the last two and walk away smugly keeping them all for yourself.
GINGER PEACH HAND PIES
Makes about 1 ½ – 2 dozen hand pies
for the dough: (from Fine Cooking magazine)
2 ½ cups unbleached all-purpose flour
2 ½ teaspoons sugar
¾ teaspoon kosher salt
9 Tablespoons unsalted butter, cold, cut into 16 pieces
¼ cup + 3 Tablespoons cold whole milk
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
for the filling:
3-4 medium fresh ripe peaches, peeled, pitted and cut into ½” dice (about 2 ½ cups)
¼ cup light brown sugar
2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
1/8 teaspoon kosher salt
1 ½ teaspoons cornstarch
1 Tablespoon cold water
½ teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 Tablespoons finely minced candied ginger
for the cinnamon sugar topping:
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
for the sugar glaze:
1 cup powdered sugar
2 Tablespoons water (or 1 Tablespoon water + 1 Tablespoon bourbon)
Cooking oil for shallow frying
- For the pastry: With a few pulses, combine the flour, sugar and salt in the bowl of a food processor.
- Add the butter pieces and pulse until the mixture looks like a coarse meal.
- Add the lemon juice and milk and pulse until it just comes together. Do not over mix.
- Turn the dough out onto a clean work surface, gather it into a thin, flat circle and wrap in plastic wrap.
- Chill at least 2 hours and up to 3 days.
- Make the filling: Peel, pit and dice the peaches into ½” pieces – you need about 2 ½ cups.
- In a heavy 3-quart saucepan, combine the peaches with the brown sugar, lemon juice and salt.
- Cook over medium low until the peaches have softened and released some of their juices, about 5 minutes.
- In a small bowl, combine the cornstarch with 1 Tablespoon cold water.
- Add cornstarch mixture to the peaches and cook over medium-low until thickened, about 1-2 minutes.
- Add the ½ teaspoon of the cinnamon and stir to combine; cook over low until thickened.
- Remove from the heat and transfer to a shallow bowl to cool, stirring occasionally – the filling needs to be cool to fill the pastry.
- Roll the dough: Line a sheet pan with parchment and set aside until needed.
- On a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough until it’s pretty thin – about 1/8” thick.
- Cut out circles with a 4” cutter, getting as many as you can out of the first roll as the dough will toughen the more you roll it. Do not reroll the dough more than once.
- Lay the dough circles on the parchment covered sheet pan in a single layer, refrigerate until needed.
- Assembly: Remove the dough circles from the fridge and lay on a clean work surface.
- Working with a few at a time, brush the edges of the circle lightly with water.
- Place a rounded Tablespoon of the cooled filling in the center of each round. (Be careful not to overfill as the filling will burst out up pan frying.)
- Fold the dough in half to form a half-moon shape and pinch the edges tightly to seal.
- For the cinnamon sugar (if using): Combine the remaining 1 cup sugar and 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon in a medium bowl and set aside until needed.
- Pan Fry: Have a large rimmed sheet pan and wire rack off to the side of the fryer.
- Fill a 10” skillet (preferably cast iron) with ½” of oil and clip a thermometer to the side to help gage temperature.
- Heat the oil to 375°F and fry the pies in 2-3 batches until golden brown, about 1-2 minutes on each side. Make sure the oil comes back up to temperature between each batch.
- With a slotted spoon, remove the pies from the pan, drain on the prepared rack to cool for a moment or two.
- For the cinnamon sugar toss: after the pies have drained for a minute or two but are still warm, toss in the cinnamon sugar, shake off the excess and place on a platter.
- For the glaze (if using): Place a wire rack over a sheet pan and set aside until needed. In a medium bowl, whisk the powdered sugar and water (or water & bourbon) until smooth. When the pies have cooled completely, drop them into the glaze and flip to coat completely. Shake off excess glaze, place prepared rack and let sit until the glaze has set, at least 30 minutes but longer is better.
- Hand pies are best the day they are made.
Lovely. I enjoyed reading this post, a lot, and your pies look scrumptious.
A couple of fried pies and a bottle of Mogen David is the only proven cure for the common cold!
this probably works for a hangover too !
‘crabbiest of the crabby’ LOL….
stresscake is so entertaining/funny. i feel like i know you…
and the beat goes on….
Hey Pops, I meant to ask you if you still self-prescribe with this method? Ha!
I’ve moved on. Pinot Noir and Fig Newtons are the way to go!
Oh my god..I died laughing reading this post. But you forgot one component of the ritual…endless copies of the cheezy magazines which went hand-in-hand with fried snacks and questionable wine choices. And in your sister’s case…the endless watching of Ferris Bueller.
These look like the perfect dessert for a work pot luck. Would making them the day before, keeping them covered in the fridge and then frying them the next day work? I would assume the sugar glaze would travel better that the sugar toss.
Oh mom. How you put up with us and our wackadoo requests/demands, i’ll never know.
As for making ahead I haven’t tried in but in theory it should work. Just make sure the filling is dry, too much liquid and they’ll be soggy the next day.
Actually, now that I think about it, I had some left the next day and they were pretty damn good. I don’t know that I’d even bother with the fridge thing. It’s like pie- great a few hours out of the oven but still nothing to sneeze at the next day. Also, both the sugar and the glaze were fine the next day.
Hey I had a better idea. Make the filling and the dough the day before, roll and cut out the dough and keep it tightly wrapped. keep everything in the fridge then quick assemble them right before frying. That part takes no time if everything is ready. And no worries about sogginess and they’re freshly fried. Give me enough time and I’ll think of everything.
Just made these last night for finicky teenagers and adults with apple or peach. They sucked them down and asked me to make more today. These were sooooo easy – one of the boys said he’s going to try to make them!
I know- easy right? And they disappear surprisingly quick.
Hmm… Mom’s strategy for me was Ferris Bueller’s Day Off on an endless loop, Archie Comics and frozen pizza (think it was Tony’s).
These hand pies sound delish!
Fried pies are pretty easy to find down here in the South, but I recently tried fried meat pies – brisket and pulled pork. OMG. You know what’s better than a fried pie for dessert? Fried pie for the main course first!
And I have to give a shout out to my favorite field trip treat, Choc-O-Diles! There’s nothing bad about a chocolate dipped Twinkie.