Not long ago, I met a friend for dinner at The Publican, a fine Chicago restaurant known for pork, oysters and an extensive Belgian heavy beer list. It’s really very wonderful. After some deliberation, we decided to order some oysters though I hesitated for a moment. You see, two years ago in Southwestern France, I became extremely ill eating raw oysters. TWICE. Horribly, violently, miserably ill. The second time, to my horror, was in an Arcachon restaurant famous for it’s raw seafood platters. Not being one to pass up an opportunity, I reasoned that it had been a week since the original bout and ordered up. My stomach choose to disagree with the decision. Apparently, it was too soon and boy, did it let me know. I barely made it out the door and across the street (to hide really) before I lost it in the flowerpots outside the town hall. It was a proud moment for me. Even puking into the Hotel de Ville daisies doesn’t make it any easier.
What I realized that second night was my body was absolutely rebelling against something I once adored. It was awful. I’ve been known to easily and happily suck down a dozen or two in one sitting. After this incident, the mere thought of slurping a briny bivalve made my stomach churn. I hadn’t been able to touch them since. That is, until a few weeks ago.
After considering the Publican options – we had 6 types to choose from – we went with the mildest and sweetest of the lot – Kumamoto. In the past, I’ve loved this variety – small, sweet, plump and juicy – and I thought I just might be able to do it. It was at least worth a shot. I had one, enjoyed it and considered it a small victory. It’s going to take me a while to get back on track but I’ll get there.
Now then, these oysters were served with the most delicious, obviously housemade saltine crackers. They were light and crisp; buttery and slightly herbal; salty and wonderful. I ate many. So many, the server took note and brought more. Whoops.
And it got me thinking … how hard is it to make crackers? Is it utterly ridiculous to make saltines? I’d been making refrigerator crackers for some time so this seemed like the next logical step.
I gave it a whirl and you know what? These were super easy. They’re very basic – flour, salt, butter, water – and bake up into a crisp little cracker. Not quite what I had that night at the Publican but very tasty in their own right and delicious with cheese or a bowl of soup. In fact, I made a batch this morning that I’m going to enjoy with some of that Bleu Mont cheese I picked up last week. I’ll figure out those Publican crackers one of these days but for now, these suit me just fine.
The only tricky thing here is the rolling, and that’s not even that bad. You can certainly do it by hand with an old fashioned rolling pin but it’s so much easier if you have a pasta machine. To do it by hand, flour the surface well and keep at it until they’re as thin as possible – you’ll get there. With the machine, work your way through the settings, 3x at each one, and x1 at #7. Start with a piece about the size of an apricot – too large a piece and the long sheet will become awkward to handle. Then cut, brush them with a little water, a sprinkle of salt and bake just a few minutes until crisp. Simple stuff.
STRESS THERAPY BAKING FACTOR: GOOD! You’re making crackers – not something many people do from scratch. They’re crispy and delicious and really not all that hard. These little beauties are far more interesting than anything you can pick up in the store too. And when you tell people you made them you’ll get one of two reactions: complete and utter amazement and enjoyment. Or that other one – the dumbfounded look that says “Why the hell would you do that?” These are the people you need to ditch, the unappreciative wretches.
HOMEMADE SALTINE CRACKERS
Makes about 60 2”x2” crackers but may vary based on how thinly rolled and size cut
1 cup unbleached all-purpose flour
2 Tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
¼ cup water
½ teaspoon kosher salt
water for brushing
kosher or sea salt for sprinkling
- In the work bowl of a food processor, pulse the flour and salt to combine.
- Add the melted butter and process until a coarse meal – less than a minute.
- Add the water and process until a dough is formed – about 1-2 minutes. It may not come together and look sort of crumbly. Turn out on the work surface and knead until it forms a moist dough.
- Let rest 30-60 minutes to allow the gluten to relax.
- Preheat oven to 400°F and line two sheet pans with parchment paper.
- Divide the dough into quarters and roll thin. You have two ways to do this, I much prefer the pasta machine method but you can do it by hand.
- By hand – lightly flour the work surface and the top of the dough and using a heavy rolling pin, roll as thinly as possible.
- With a pasta machine – Roll ¼ of dough through twice on settings 1-6 then once on setting 7. You’ll have a long very thin sheet. Cut in half if it’s too long to handle easily.
- Cut into squares – I like about 2”x2” – brush lightly with water, sprinkle with salt.
- Bake 400°F for 8-10 minutes until lightly golden. Keep and eye on them as they brown quickly and rotate the pans halfway through baking.
- These will crisp up as they sit out of the oven and will keep, tightly wrapped, for a few days. Though if you live in a humid climate they may soften. If so, recrisp in a 350°F oven for a few minutes.
I would never have thought about making saltines, but what a great idea. Trying to eat more brown flours…think these would work with wheat flour? Or a mix?
probably! try a 50/50 mix with AP flour. If you like that, you can increase the whole wheat in increments. 100% wwheat from the start may come out way too heavy.
are these the ones you made for us at the last dinner? cause those were DELICIOUS – couldn’t stop eating them.
Why, yes. Yes there are. 🙂
Yeah, I have to say, you sent me away with a box of crackers once. … And they were gone astonishingly quickly. I mean, they certainly didn’t last the day. I’m sort of embarrassed to say anything beyond that. Really, really good.
I just made these today and they’re delicious! It was really hard not to devour them fresh out of the oven, they’re even better when they’re hot because they melt in your mouth immediately. Yum!
Was looking for the perfect cracker recipe to go along w/ some crock pot veggie & quinoa soup i made overnight.. SO GLAD i stumbled upon your recipe!!! easy and delicious! i’ll never by store-bought crackers again!
buy* lol 🙂 *goes to eat more crackers fresh from oven..*
Doing this one right now. Will update when they come out.
::ten minutes later, nothing but munching noises!:: YUM!
wonderful! i have been trying to come up with my own recipe with somewhat disappointing results, so glad i stumbled upon your delish recipe, thanks!!!
I am so excited to try this… I have cut out corn syrup completely and as a vegetarian discovered that enzymes, unless specified as non-animal, are not vegetarian. I discovered today that the crackers I use in my family recipe have enzymes… so sad… so I searched and found your recipe… I will likely try the half and half with whole wheat flour… I miss saltines so this will be great…. thanks… oh and do you think tripling the recipe will cause problems in the food processor?
oh and how do I follow your page…
crackers are getting pricey and baking your own may be an option
when the makers start cooking them with LARD in them like they made them
in the past (1950’s)
I’ve been making potato crackers which are very similar, except with more flour, butter and of course mashed potatoes. This sounds really easy I’ll have to give it a try. Using the pasta machine is genius! Thanks!
Perfect! Created a pot of the most perfect clam chowder, only to realize I’m out of oyster crackers. I just made these instead of going to the store; I may never buy them again!
Just made these, and while I overdid it with the salt on my first try, these came out buttery and perfect! Since I was alone, I didn’t bother making lovely squares or perforated edges. Still tastes wonderful – and they’re so easy!
It was surprisingly difficult to find a good, simple cracker recipe. i will make these in a few and expect they will become a regular product (as in ‘thing I produce’) for me. Sending good vibes to you in appreciation.
Tried these today with wheat-free, gluten free flour on my husband’s diet – worked well. May try with chicken broth next time, the soy milk I used was okay but has a vanilla flavor – couldn’t really taste the vanilla but need to keep trying new recipes to provide him with more choices on his diet. Thank you.
Try using PureAlmond milk. I use the original (60 cal) for all my recipes and I don’t get any unusual flavors. Drinking straight from the carton has just a slight nutty flavor and is gluten free.
I don’t have a pasta machine nor am I good with a rolling pin so I washed and dried two wooden rulers. I laid them vertically about 10 inches apart on my rolling surface and placed the rolling pin across both of them, then put the dough in front of the pin and rolled back and forth on the rulers. They measure the thickness of the dough for me. Worked pretty well! Great recipe, thanks!!
I am pondering on making beef stew and York shire pudding to go with it but my son says even though he likes Yorkshire pudding something i learned about years ago goes really well with stew my son made the comment he wanted crackers i went to the pantry and noticed we where out he is 4 i cant let my 4 year old down so i searched to see if there is a cracker recipe easy enough to make for him for dinner and i found this easy recipe i’m going to make them later tonight when every one is sleeping for our beef stew tomorrow night and i will post to let you all know how my 4 year old likes it and my self.
i couldn’t wait to make these so now i’m letting my cracker dough rest for an hour lol and my son helped me make it.
wow just wow my son will not stop eating the crackers i made last night these taste amazing there great i rolled them as thin as i could and we like them really thin i had to make 2 batches because we ate the first batch and the second batch i added some basil that i grew from my own garden and dried last year and i took away 1 tsp of water and replaced it with lemon juice from a fresh lemon to make lemon basil crackers im going to make another batch with garlic and cheese 🙂 i love them plane too just wanted to up the any on these little crunchy crackers. i will probably also do dried tomatoes and basil next batch for our soups.
I will never need to buy store bought crackers again. Thank you so much for this wonderful recipe you made two more people very happy. ❤
What if you used bacon fat instead of butter?
Uh, YES. I think that sounds delicious. There’s always room for bacon fat.
Oh I’m going to have fun trying this recipe and playing with variations this winter! I don’t have a pasta roller but I do have a tortilla press, so I’m thinking a long role (like fridgie cookies) to cut and press into rounds. And the comment on bacon fat has me contemplating a jar of smoked duck fat lurking in my fridge.
I’m so glad your recipe doesn’t have baking soda or powder. I’ve tried so many recipes that do and it gives a bad aftertaste. I love yours because it is simple. I tried them and am certain that these will be my go to recipe from now on. Best cracker recipe I’ve found!
Well, I finally found a recipe that’s easy and actually comes out right!! Thank you for this simple and easy recipe for a crisp, salty cracker. They taste just like a Saltine cracker. I love the way they puff up!
I’m asking for the pasta roller attachment for my Kitchen Ade for Christmas so that I can make these crackers and other recipes that call for really thin dough. I just can’t seem to get the dough thin enough when I use a rolling pin. I made these using a rolling pin, and they were good, but chewy, and I’m sure it is because they weren’t rolled thin enough. Thanks!
why don’t you make a printable verison ? old folks such as me can’t while at the stove thanks Johnny B.
I hear ya Johnny. Truth is, I haven’t had the time to figure that one out yet. I’m lucky if I can just get posts up on a semi-regular basis. But I will look into it. in the meantime, hang in there and increase the font size on your screen.
Johnny, you can just highlight the parts you want and paste into a word processor or whatever. I got the main picture and the instructions on one page easily for use in the kitchen. But, that’s not what I am really writing about. I just made these, after years of wanting to try. As I was working on it, i thought Hey wait a minute! There’s not baking soda in this recipe. Hmmmm. Soda crackers they are often called! So, I think I adjusted the pasta machine to roll too thinly (7). They’re too thin!!! They look like tortilla squares. So, I’ll try again. Still interesting for a first try, but not what I was looking for…..
Reblogged this on yarnthreads and commented:
Wow! Why have I been buying crackers? I have a pasta machine, and it’s time to use it!